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11.10.99
I have had the greatest couple of days! Well, today was good, but yesterday was fantastic (yesterday was good, the day before was fantastic). Yesterday... MONDAY, I woke up and took my time eating breakfast while reading my email. I'm on a mailing list for a replacement shell for windows called litestep. On this list, there is a rather predicatable fight that breaks out every few months. Sometimes it's between members of the dev. team, sometimes it's between members of rival sites, but for whatever reason, this fight keeps breaking out. I wanted to write something into the list telling the two main guys that they were making asses of themselves, but ended up deciding not to get involved in the whole thing. So I walked out the door in a bit of a hurry because I'd gotten absorbed in email. About halfway to school, I realized that I forgot the rent check (due that day). So I decided to skip class (I was going to be late anyway, so I might as well go home and get the check and relax for a few hours until my next class). On my way back home, I came up with a really clever mail to send. I mailed it off, and got a few positive responses, which made me happy. Then I spent the next couple hours lazily tweaking the shell. I managed to get it almost exactly to where I wanted it, with everything exactly how I like, before I had to run to my next class. I got out of that class early, and headed to work, where I was greeted happily, and given a .50 raise! I spent a few hours on the job, got some minor things done, and headed off to graphic design class. I was a little nervous. The last class meeting, our first project of the year was due. I turned it in, but I had skipped probably two out of every three classes, and never met a single time with the teacher about my project, which she really wants us to do. I pulled the project off at the last minute, but managed to do a decent job with it. I figured B-C quality work, not my best, but enough for a passing grade. Perhaps I should elaborate. I was nervous because all my art teachers dislike me. This isn't always their fault. I make it fairly clear that graphic design class isn't my first priority, and sometimes it's pretty obvious that I don't respect what my teacher thinks. I'm fully aware that I'm a difficult student to like. I procrastinate and sometimes turn in mediocre work. Out of the last five or six teachers I've had, none have really liked me, and one flat out told me that he disliked me. My grades suffered in all these classes partly due to this relationship with the teachers. This year I got a brand new teacher who I've never had before, and I'm excited because I've heard she's really laid back and more my style than any of the other Graphic Design teachers. So I'm worried because here's my chance to start over and leave a good impression, and I've already fouled it up. I've skipped class a lot, and not met with her. So that's where the situation stood. I had turned in my project on time, and my classmates all seemed taken with it (how much of this was just suprise that I managed a decent project at all, I didn't know). We're at the first class meeting following that one, and the teacher is going to explain our new project and possibly mention our old ones. We get our new project, and it rules! I'm totally into it, because it lets me do web work, and not so focused on print work, which I don't like. She's going around meeting with everyone and when she gets to me, she says "now, what's your name?" This is a bad sign. I've been in this class for four/five weeks and she doesn't know my name, because I've skipped too much. I sheepishly say "scott." She replies "Oh, YOU'RE Scott! You know you're a hot-shit designer?" Flabbergasted, I reply "Um... no I didn't know" (my jaw must have been on the ground... this was NOT what I was expecting)... She looks puzzled... "how could you not know?" I explain my problems with art teachers, and she gives me a nice little talk about how sometimes you just have to ignore opinions when you know you're right. !!! Wow !!! This was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. After so many years of teacher's dislike, I really needed to hear a teacher say something really positive about me, and let me know that I'm doing okay. I had reached burnout point and some of the bad work I was doing was because I just didn't care, because no matter how much effort I put in, the teacher didn't like it (note: I'm not imagining this... I've had fellow students remark to me that this or that teacher really doesn't like me). Still, it was so great to hear a teacher say something cool about me, especially "hot-shit designer"!! I had been seriously doubting my abilities, and this totally amped me up... I'm really excited about my new project. After class, I headed home and had a nice meal with Annie and just a good evening. The next day I had off, so I got to sleep in and play computer games, and just relax. I called the bank, and a dumb mistake I made won't hurt me, I called the cable company about a billing mistake I got, and they not only didn't give me any shit about it, they told me that I had $50 credit... basically four months free cable!! I feel great! And now it's bed time.
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